107: Is Control Killing Your Flow?

The opposite of control is not chaos, it’s actually flow.

How backwards we have it. We’re taught that control is the ideal. ‘Be rational’, ‘don’t bring your emotions to work’, ‘control yourself’. And it’s one of the biggest lies we’ve been fed. Control is a closed system and kills both creativity and flow.

As a culture, we’re actually experiencing emotional anorexia. We’ve been shoving so much down for so many years, it’s like trying to hold multiple beach balls underwater at once. All of that energy of holding those balls down has to go somewhere. It either explodes internally – immune disorders, heart, liver or stomach dysfunction, cancer, an “issue in your tissues”; or outwardly all over a coworker, loved one or innocent by-stander. All in the name of control.

So where does flow fit into this?

Stephanie and Maren talk about exactly where flow fits, and how to get to it. Control and people pleasing are two-sides of the same coin and result in the same thing: manipulation. Flow is the opposite. Living in your zone of genius, and empowering those around you to do the same, co-creating instead of manipulating – those are just a few of the things that live beyond ‘control’.

This is Soulful Leadership.

  • 00:41 Don’t take it personally. It’s just business
  • 06:09 High standards, or rules to keep you siloed
  • 10:16 Co-creation instead of manipulation
  • 13:42 People pleasing, a version of control
  • 20:20 From fear of manipulation to authenticity
  • 29:44 Making the space for the gifts, strengths and genius
  • 33:55 Doing less and getting more – because you’re in flow

The leadership that happens within changes the leadership that happens outside. – Maren Oslac


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